Welcome to Motherhood

As Childreach prepares for another session of Mother Reach in April, I wanted to share a blog entry I had written back in 2014.  I had two young children, and we had just survived a move from our old house into my parents’ house for two months and then into our new house.  Don’t ask me how we did it, because I don’t remember - I probably blocked it out for good reason! 

Reading this again reminds me how I was feeling when I had my first child and how overwhelming everything was and how I questioned EVERYTHING.  It wasn’t how I had pictured motherhood.  I wanted to re-share this because I still remember those feelings.  I wanted to re-share so you would know that you are not alone.  There are groups out there to support you and cheer you on.  And I encourage you to always reach out for support from Childreach when you are struggling.   We’re here to help. For free.

Before I was a mom…

Before I had my first child, I was over-the-moon excited.  Of course I knew there would be challenges ahead, but I had lots of experience working with children.  I had nieces and nephews, I had read all the books, I was prepared for the labour (ha!), and the baby’s room was ready.  I was so ready that I was about to buy myself a “World’s Best Mom” mug.  I had this.  I just needed the baby.  Bring it on. 

Nobody told me what it was actually like. 

I felt alone.  I felt like I wasn’t cut out for this parenting gig.  I was beyond exhausted.  I was overwhelmed.  My baby was the only one who didn’t sleep.  My baby was the only one who spit up everything he just ate.  And the emotions!  Oh, the emotions! In my mind, I was the only one who wasn’t enjoying being a mom.  I didn’t feel like a mom.  I was the only one who ever broke down in the middle of the grocery store questioning if I loved my five-day old son.  Even though my husband was an incredible support to our son and myself, he just didn’t understand what I was going through on the inside. I felt like I didn’t have anyone to talk to who really understood.  In my head, I kept saying, “I am not a good mom.  I am not a good mom.  I am not a good mom.”

After four months of working up the courage, I talked myself into going to an EarlyON playgroup for moms and babies.

Best. Decision.  Ever.  I met so many other moms just like me!  Moms who also ran on three hours of sleep a night!  Moms who struggled to breastfeed.  And their babies also boycotted sleep.  Other babies woke up three or four times a night for no reason.  Other moms also took seven hours to get ready to go anywhere.  That’s not including having a shower and looking presentable.  Other moms experienced a period of depression and/or anxiety.

 I was absolutely, incredibly, not alone.

I felt normal.

And so are you.

Written by Paula Dibbits, RECE, Parent Support Educator