Agreed, we are “all in the same boat” but we are experiencing this COVID “storm” differently. And that’s okay. No one has been immune to this, and everyone’s situation is different.

One of my struggles during this time is around my son and his gaming. Normally, we have limits for gaming; no video games before school. He gets stressed and angry - not a good way to start the day for any of us. After school, he is allowed time, but only after he empties his lunch and puts away his school items.

Enter online-schooling.

My children are online from 9 am until 3:45 pm, with breaks in between. That’s a lot of screen time. It makes me feel… (What’s the best word to describe it?)…”blech and icky”.

Now I know he plays online with his friends. At this point, that’s the only social interaction he is having with his friends. I’m conflicted with this fact. I feel bad that he cannot play in-person with his friends. But I also am a parent that worries what this is doing to his mental health.

Stuart Shanker, a research professor of Philosophy and Psychology at York University, author, speaker, and Founder/CEO of The MEHRIT Centre as well as the founder and Science Director of the Self-Regulation Institute, discusses self regulation and how video games trigger the stress response within the amygdala (the fight, flight, freeze response) and when a child is asked to finish games, they can get quite upset.

When you child’s brain is in that state, they are not getting quality, restorative, sleep that they need in order to function and learn the next day.

In order for our children to be on board with screen rules and limiting their usage, we, the parents need to adhere to those same rules. We are our child’s role model. They learn from us. How we handle our emotions, how we talk to other people, and how we function throughout the day. So, if we are on our screens all the time without breaks or without being aware of our own usage, our children will see this. It cannot be a system of “do as I say, not as I do.”

Rewind back to 2009 when we bought a Wii Console. My nephew, who was 4 at the time, had come over to our house with his parents. We had a family dinner, and afterward we all played Wii Boxing. My nephew had a blast! Everyone had turns playing, but he certainly enjoyed himself the most.

Fast forward to his bedtime. When my brother and sister-in-law went to check on him before they went to sleep, he was actually boxing in his sleep! He was sleep-punching his opponent! Yes, that is adorable, but what does that tell us about how active his brain was at that moment! His amygdala was on fire!

So, if you are like me, and struggle with the daily screens and how to navigate around this, consider sitting down and working out a plan. Involve your children. Let them have a say. Try and listen to their point of view, and respect their opinions and ideas. Not only are you showing your child respect, but you are telling them that their opinion matters. This could reduce power struggles when you both agree on a schedule.

Then ensure that there is plenty of outdoor time or other fun activities to make sure their brain gets a screen break!

Written by Paula Dibbits, RECE, Parent Support Educator

The Screen Time Battle