WILD CHILD: Mittens Part 2 - setting limits

The cold weather has arrived and for many families with toddlers that means the struggle to wear mittens outside has started.

There are so many reasons why mittens are tricky with our little ones. Yesterday we looked at ways to over come the strange feeling of wearing mittens and the frustrations that come from trying to use little hands to explore our world when they are covered up. Today let’s talk about navigating setting limits with little people who are just learning to understand.

As a parent it has helped me to realize that each day outside is a little bit different and I can be flexible. What is hard is knowing when to be flexible (it’s okay to be uncomfortable) and when I need to create that firm structure (frost bite isn’t okay). I like to think about four Ts when deciding what today looks like, then clearly set the expectations before we head outside. The 4 Ts are: Time, Temperature, Try-it, Take a break. It is helpful for me and the children to clearly set the expectations before we start our activity, then remind everyone of the expectations over the playtime as needed.

Here is a peek at the strategies I use to decide on a day’s expectations:

Time

How long will my child be outside? As adults we decide to run between buildings on really cold days without a jacket because we are only outside for a short time, but we bundle up for a full day outside. That same concept is true for little people. How long you plan to be outside, how long the mitts are off, etc all effect whether hands get cold. Time outside effects how I decide what is expected for time mittens need to be on today.

Temperature

There is a big difference between 0C and -20C, a big difference between calm air and gusting wind that creates a windchill. At 0C you may not need mittens if you are warmly dressed and moving. Your body is creating lots of heat and keeping your hands warm. At -20C even warm moving bodies wont keep bare hands warm for very long. The temperature also effects how I decide what I expect for mitten wearing today.

Try-it

Every person’s tolerance for cold is different. Sometimes the only way to know if your child is warm enough is to give them a chance to try-it and learn from the experience. That might look like:

“You can take your mitts off for 5 minutes and then I will check if your hands are warm”,

if after 5 minutes you feel your child’s hands and they are warm you know it’s okay. If they feel cold then you can do the exact same thing for wearing mitts,

“your hands feel cold, you need to wear your mittens for 5 minutes to warm up”.

If your child uses timers you can even set a timer with them so that they know when they are allowed to take their mitts off again.

“I’m setting a timer for 5 minutes, when the timer goes off it’s time to put on/take off mittens”

You can do the same thing with different types of mittens. Wear the thinner mittens for a specific period of time, then switch to warmer ones afterwards for a specific length of time. If your child really struggles this is a great chance to use praise for their successes and remind them of past successes.

“Good job wearing your mittens, would you like to take them off for 5 minutes?”

“The timer went off. Good job putting your mittens back on!”

“Wow, you did such a good job wearing your mittens, would you like to stay out for an extra 5 minutes, I think your hands are still warm enough”

Be encouraging, be excited, be patient. Remember their memories are short at this age, you will have to repeat, repeat, repeat and practice, practice, practice. Persevere, the more times a day you practice for short times, the more they will start to understand. It will get easier and your child will learn that they can control warming up their hands by putting on mitts (or switching to warmer mitts). You are modeling how to stay comfortable and safe outside for them, so that they can learn to make those decisions for themselves when they are older.

Take a break

If mittens are a big challenge for your family, set a time limit and then take a break. That might look like:

“We are going to play outside for 15 minutes” (if it’s 0C with a windchill of -10C a warmly dressed child will be okay in that time frame, their hands may be uncomfortable but that is a good chance to remind them that mitts help)

“We are going to set a time for 5 minutes, when the timer goes off you have to put your mitts on”

“It’s time to go inside, if you want to stay outside longer you have to put your mitts on”

“We have to go inside now because you wont keep your mittens on and your hands are getting cold”

You are setting the limit based on the temperature. You are choosing how long you will go outside for. You are also clearly telling your child what is required if they want to stay outside longer. While little ones may not fully understand at first, repetition and consistency works and they will start to understand that playing outside has rules for keeping hands warm.

A note for adults

This is a frustrating experience for many parents. Toddlers don’t listen to logic and will loudly tell you what they want. But, if you stay patient and consistent, they will start to understand that mitts are part of winter in Canada. Thankfully we only have slightly cold weather in the first few weeks of winter. This gives you and your child a chance to practice wearing mitts, warming up, and navigating those boundaries/limits so that in February, when it is very cold, you and your child have built the skills to keep mitts on and take breaks in ways that work for your family.

Bonus tip

If you chose to go outside for short periods of time as you build comfort and confidence with mitts, choose a time the ends before the fun ends. Saying something like,

“The timer went off, we need to go inside. You did such a good job keeping your mittens on, should we stay outside for 20 minutes next time?”

Rather then playing until everyone is tired and cold, stopping while things are fun goes a long way towards creating a motivation to keep mitts on and reinforcing that making warm choices will let them play longer.

For more support navigating playing outside in cold weather reach out to us on social media or stop by one of our 3 weekly playgroups and chat with the facilitators who can help you problem solve you unique situation.

Written by Tandy Morton, WILD CHILD outdoor playgroup facilitator