A Lesson in Taking Risks

Do you ever have those moments as a parent where you immediately ‘know’ something isn’t safe for your little one?  Have you ever thought about how you learned them?

I found early on that it was wise to trust my parental instincts most times. If it felt wrong, it was usually worth investigating. Like those moments of silence when you discover a little person covering themselves in zinc diaper cream. Sometimes I find that those helpful instincts cause me to get in the way of my child’s learning when it comes to taking risks both outside and inside.

Recently my littlest one has been determined to run outside without shoes.  This wasn’t a problem in the warm summer months, but it’s cold and wet now, and just thinking about it has me reaching for my sweater. My parental instincts said ‘no way’, and I stepped in, but after repeatedly stopping him and insisting he put on shoes, I realized I had forgotten the ‘investigate’ part and jumped right to acting.

My ‘acting’ robbed him of the opportunity to try things and develop his own instincts. Not to mention it required me reminding him to put on shoes every time. So I’m learning to ask ‘why?’ and ‘what will happen?’

Why can’t he go outside without shoes? It’s freezing cold and his feet will get cold and sore.

What will happen? He’ll probably come inside crying that his feet are cold.

Then, what will happen? I’ll remind him that shoes and socks solve that problem and suggest he wear some.

In this case, playing out the scenario helped me realize that my “uh oh” feeling -while valid – wasn’t a reason to act.  Rather it was a reason to stand by and let learning happen.

Surprisingly, my littlest lasted 30 seconds before running inside to grab his shoes and head back outside again to play.  I left him to experience the feeling that I already knew about, and he’s rarely been outside shoe-less since. He has developed his instinct for predicting when running outside without shoes will be an unpleasant experience.

Strangely this is exactly what I find myself encouraging parents to do in risky situations in the forest. Why shouldn’t they try it? What will happen? Sometimes the answers lead you to stand back and sometimes they lead you to intervene, but they are always worth asking.

Written by Tandy Morton, WILD CHILD Outdoor Playgroup Facilitator