Helping Kids Cope with Stress
At the beginning of the pandemic, we were mostly experiencing what we call positive stress. It is a type of stress response that can help us do our best by providing energy and motivation to face challenges. Staying at home, washing our hands, practicing social distancing, protecting older adults and keeping up with the most current COVID news are all positive stress behaviours. As the pandemic has progressed over two months, the changes and demands of day-to-day life have become more pressing and have challenged our ability and our children’s ability to cope. This has now become tolerable stress. The body’s defense response to this stress is to fight, flee or freeze. When stress becomes prolonged and/or pervasive, children can become stuck in one of these responses.
Challenging behaviours may be better understood as stress responses. Irritability and anger are fight responses. Restlessness, avoiding others and feeling like running away are flee responses. Feeling disconnected, frozen, saying “I don’t know” are freeze responses. Stressed children may not be able to answer, “what’s wrong?” Babies sleeping and eating patterns can become disrupted. Toddlers and preschoolers can become clingy and regress to night waking and in toilet learning.
Meeting children’s needs and/or helping them meet their own needs helps them recover from their stress response, improves challenging behaviours, and promotes resilience by teaching them coping strategies.
Healthy eating, healthy sleep and exercise. Children are better able to maintain calm and balance when they are well-rested, well-fed and physically active.
Create rhythms and routines not rigid schedules. These provide predictability which promotes feelings of safety and security, particularly in times of uncertainty. Choose the rhythm that works for your family.
Children need loving connections to parents and caregivers to overcome stress. The most important factor in coping with tolerable stress is a supportive relationship with an adult caregiver. Engage in shared activities on purpose. Follow your child’s lead in play, look through family photos or videos, listen to or make music or do anything your family enjoys.
Emotional well-being depends on social connections even, or especially during physical distancing. Be creative in keeping connections with important people in young children’s lives including extended family, friends, teachers, coaches and neighbours.
Children need coping skills to manage strong emotions, resolve conflicts and solve problems. Parents can support children by modelling. Model your own self-care, self-regulation and problem solving. Talk about feelings.
Help children learn to use mindfulness and breathing techniques to reduce stress. Even taking three deep breaths can return a child to calm.
Cosmic Kids is a website offering yoga, relaxation and dance videos for children. They also have a YouTube channel.
Go Noodle is a free website offering movement and mindfulness activities.
Written by Joyce Wiliams, Parent Support Coach
Source: Dr. Karen Brozina-Hawley, Peel Children’s Centre