How Can I Teach My Child to Stop Interrupting?
Dear Childreach,
My son is continuously interrupting me when I am speaking to others. This happens when I am talking to friends, family members, or while I am on making a phone call. I have told him many times that he needs to wait while I am talking to someone. How can I teach him to stop interrupting?
Dear Parent,
Interrupting can be frustrating for parents, but it is normal for children and especially for young children. Children interrupt because they are impulsive, they do not have tools to respectfully interject, and they don’t have the skills necessary to wait. The process of learning to wait, when it is appropriate to interrupt, and how to do so in a polite way takes practice, and we can help our children get there with some guidance and patience. Here are a few things to consider:
One on One Time - Children may interrupt adult conversations because they are seeking attention. Find times throughout the day where you can give your undivided attention to your child. Read a book, play a game, or do a quiet activity where you are connecting with each other. Your children will learn that there are specific times and places where you can be completely available to them and other times where you are busy.
Modeling Behaviour - Children will learn much more about taking turns, waiting, listening attentively, and respecting others when they see their parents and caregivers modeling this behaviour. If your child hears a lot of “please,” “thank you,” “you’re welcome,” and “excuse me” as you interact with him/her and others throughout the day, they will be more likely to pick up on this.
Plan Ahead - Let your child know when you have a visitor coming or before you have to make a phone call, so they know what to expect. Boredom can be a cause of interrupting, so think about how you can get your child engaged with an activity beforehand. For example, “I need to make an important phone call that is going to take a few minutes. Would you like to look at books or colour while I’m on the phone?”
Teaching your Child How to Wait - We can’t expect our children to wait if they haven’t learned this skill. Take into account the age and development of your child, and keep expectations reasonable. Children need opportunity to practice waiting, but the key is to practice this at a time we know they will be successful. You can start by having your child wait for a toy, a snack, to be unbuckled from a car seat, etc. Be sure to always provide specific praise for good waiting. Learning takes time. Start by having your child wait only 5-10 seconds, and then slowly stretch out the time. Once they have learned the skill of waiting, you can respectfully and politely ask them to wait at other times (like when you are on the phone).
There are also many strategies that you can use to teach your children how to respectfully join a conversation or get your attention while you are in the middle of a discussion. Below is a video with one strategy that many parents find effective.
Have your child place his hand on your shoulder, hand, or wrist when they need your attention.
Acknowledge your child by placing your hand on top of his to show him that you know he is there.
Momentarily excuse yourself from your conversation, or wrap up your phone call.
Praise your child for waiting, discuss what they need and then return to your adult conversation if you had put it on pause.
Keep in mind that like any new skill, it takes time, patience and practice to learn! Other tips on interrupting can be found here.
Written by our Parent Support Educator Team
